Discovering And Loving Yourself – Its A Choice You Make

Life is really not very complicated. But we certainly leave no stone unturned to making it that way. We give ourselves ideas, complexes, shoulds, and coulds that destroy us from within, and make us defensive and vulnerable for no real reason.

I am an ardent student of the ways of destiny, fate, and free will. I have observed patterns and trends as a Tarot Card Reader, and I have studied these through the observations of Vedic Astrology as well. While I am not so good with the Vedic Astrology, the Tarot is second nature to me. I also believe in Reincarnation, and it is my belief that we are born and re-born not just to work out some random karmic accounts, but also to learn and discover what drives us.

Why do we, as souls (who are inherently perfect, btw), have this burning desire to keep coming back in some form or the other? Why can’t we just stay in our enlightened state and bliss out for the rest of forever? Why do we power the universe to create itself and us, over and over and over again?

It is because we need to feel alive. We need to feel flawed. And we need to express ourselves.

Unless we do so, all that bliss becomes meaningless.

Perhaps that is why the concept of Utopia fails over and over again.

Perfection is something we aspire to, but can never achieve – should never achieve. And it is good that it is that way. Otherwise, we would all get bored within no time. I know I would.

In any case, coming back to topic: I’ve studied patterns and trends of life, and I’ve seen a few things.

  • Life always ensures a balance. If something is taken away from you, you have already received something else in its exchange.
  • If you don’t learn how to see what’s been given, and what’s taken away, then you really are going to end up being a whiny brat.
  • And No. You can’t quite choose what is given and what is taken away. That is one of the main rules of this game. You can only choose how to react to it.
  • Most times, depending on what you focus on, you can make your life feel better or shittier. Your situation in life remains what it is – but how you feel about it can define how you allow yourself to experience it.

These are a few of my observations.

In a reading I’ve had recently, I asked about my love life. And to my utter surprise, I finally heard someone tell me things that I have actually experienced in my life. Not something that was close enough, or something that I was approximately correct. But this one was absolutely spot on.

I discovered that it was part of a karmic choice that I don’t end up in long lasting romantic relationships. And it was my choice.

Sometimes romance or romantic love can be something truly powerful. It is nice to love and to be loved. It is affirming to feel special, to have that someone special. One can totally lose oneself in the bliss that this sort of love generates.


Love can also hinder you. It can blind you to yourself. It can make you lose your perspective. You can’t see things clearly because you see them through the eyes of your lover. You perceive reality through your lover’s senses. While you lose yourself in the bliss, you truly lose your self awareness.

Sometimes, it is essential, to discover who you truly are, you need to isolate yourself. You need to put yourself through trials and tribulations, and hard times and rough patches.

When you love yourself just for who and what you are – flaws and all – then that love is as close to perfect as can be. And only when you are this close, can you be in a position where you are worthy to love another.

It is only after you discover yourself that you can even attempt to try discovering another.

Do you know why so many relationships fail? Why sometimes long term relationships feel empty? Why you can sense a deep river of discontent hidden under the layers of happy domesticity?

It may be a result of not truly appreciating the other, sure. But more than that, it is a result of not truly appreciating yourself.

I know for a fact that I’ve been loved before – deeply and strongly – through so many of my past lives. The comfort of that love still echoes in this lifetime. Perhaps that explains why I am in love with the idea of falling in love.

But I’ve chosen, through a few of my lives, to experience being alone. I have wanted to know who and what I am. I have longed to discover what it is that constitutes my being.

I’ve been sad, and listless, and allowed myself to be hurt, betrayed, and defeated – perhaps because I have wanted to experience these feelings. Or perhaps because I was plain stupid.

In either case, I seem to have recovered now, thank you very much. 🙂

I have been left alone, kept alone, and have chosen to remain alone throughout my life. It was hard, and sad, going through it in the past. But now, I seem to have come to terms with it. Perhaps because I now understand.

Even though you may have the love of your lifetime within your reach, sometimes you need to step away from all that so you can find a way to first love yourself.

Because, unless you love yourself, there is no way you are capable of loving another person. It is that simple.

Destiny isn’t all that random after all. What you have been given is exactly what you need at that time – not what you want but what you need, mind you. You are supposed to learn to appreciate it. Because only then will you be able to embark on a journey of self discovery and self love.

Whining about what wasn’t given to you, or what was taken away from you, or what never came your way to begin with, is simply just a major waste of time.

As I’ve said before – it all comes down to a matter of choosing. You can look at the things that you haven’t received and keep crying and whining about it, OR, you can look at the things that you have actually received, and rejoice in those.

What will you choose?

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